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The Haters Hall of Infamy

"People actually don't have anything better to do but spread hate? We should be spreading love.  Don't worry about the haters.  No matter what they say, they're being enlightened." -- Love, Felicia

"Haters hate. Ignorance is plentiful in the universe. By the way, all critical work is usually subject to ridicule by simple minds." -- Your Brother, Ron Carter

I decided to create the “Haters Hall of Infamy” for several reasons. 

First, because people think that they can send me hatred in private and pretend to be smart and clever in public.  There is no expectation of privacy with email to people you don’t know.  What will they do when they realize their hate could be shared with the world?  I’m sure that’ll make them think twice about sending me their evilness. 

Second, I want all the people who hate to know that I don’t have a problem meeting them on their level.  Who ever came up with the crap about taking a high road when people are hitting you low?

Third, there is nothing productive about emailing me to tell me what an ass you think I am.  Shall we discuss what an ass you think I am, or shall we discuss real issues?  I choose real issues. There is nothing good that can come from hate.  How do you imagine that we will have a lively discussion when you come at me with hate? 

Hate on, Haters!

Here is an example of how ignorant some people can be. I’m putting this first freak on blast so that people can see what NOT to send to people you don’t even know.  She is responding to my column called “HIV & The Down Low.”  My question is:  Since she thinks that Black men are so horrible, why bother emailing me?  Ummm...hello...I AM a Black Man!

Marcia at mjhylton@yahoo.com wrote:

Mr. James,

It is my opinion that you do not know what you are talking about. The stats are true. Many black men are in prison, or gay, or are running around being irresponsible adults: having babies with various women, abusing drugs, wasting their finances, etc, etc, etc.

To ignore this truth is to live in denial. Yes, there are those folks who choose to get married, but being married is not necessarily a sign that there is a good, black man involved in the relationship. Many married, black men that I have met have affairs or do not fully contribute to their households. Many black women that I have met share with me stories of cheating boyfriends and husbands. There is a huge problem in our homes and communities and it's usually the male role model who is missing. Black women are often carrying the load by themselves; even when they have men in their lives. This is so because the black men often refuse to grow up and act responsibly.

It is apparent that your definition of a "good black man" and mine are significantly different. This might be the real problem; being that you do not know what women are looking for.

I appreciate your thoughts and am aware that as a man, you do not have a full grasp of the female perspective. But, it is my opinion that, only a woman involved with a man can truly judge if that man is indeed a good black man... and vice-versa. And my experience, direct and indirect, has shown me that there are few good, black men and many good, goal-oriented, hardworking, financially-responsible, devoted, ready-to-build-families, black women. I am a prime example... and I have many others.

M. Hylton

My response:

Marcia;

I can feel the anger, pain and hatred in your words.  Believe what you want about Black men.  I can not help you.  No one can.  Hold on to the belief that we are whatever you want to believe and for you, it will be true.  There is nothing else to say.

Thank you for taking the time to write.  Have a nice life.

Darryl James

Now, here’s another hater who was driven insane by the piece I wrote on the Million Man March, called “The Million Man Farce?” I thought this was from a sullen little girl, but it’s actually from a bitchy little man. Again, it’s one thing to disagree, but why do it with such venom and ignorance?

Cy Chenier cy_chenier@yahoo.com wrote:

I was proud to be part of such a profound experience which was nothing short of an historic catalyst in our community and, I dare say, country. The least of which, WE were inspired, the most significant of which, WE became socially, economically, politically, and spiritually active. "WE" being those of us who participated in M3... and those of you who didn't... Funny thing about progress... you need only a few progressive individuals (let's say a million) to affect "positive" change.... Still got our issues - no doubt... and there is no shortage of OUR domesticated pessimists whose raison detra is to remind us of our shortcomings (Willie Lynch would be proud).... but it just fascinates me that the same individuals who saw no purpose served by THIS event probably exist as nothing more than free radicals who would not be part of the solution anyway...capable instead of only minor deeds that are simply self serving and destined to fade into obscurity - as is the way with social scavengers. 

The enthusiastic fervor with which they decry their support for the Conservative Right is NEVER seen when you need there involvement (not rhetoric - could you imagine Armstrong Williams as a tutor?) to mentor a young African American male - that is where it starts... right?.

Also, if the good gentleman did not hear any of his issues addressed then - maybe...just maybe he was at the Million Republican March... oops...my bad...there's no such thing..... yet.

As many of you know, We made several pledges that day...and in the coming day's, I plan to exercise (2)two as it relates to this topic: 1) I will be politically active in my community - I cast my ballot - regardless of my DC residency. 2) I will be economically active in my community - I will continue spend my dollar in African-American owned businesses where possible - and if I don't spend it on literature written by the   likes of a Darryl James (I hope he doesn't use the Moesley name anymore...it's disconcerting) then I'll have more to invest in a place like Cake Love on U St...better that Star-big-bucks and I'm sure the   owner didn't require an "Agenda" 10 years ago...

Sides if that was an expert from his writing - then I find it immature at best...

Everyday is a good day people - be a part of someone else's good day...

Cy

Just so you know who your dealing with, this is the authors link (and his lil' glamor shot - definitely
L.A.) .... http://www.theblackgendergap.com/the_author.htm


Okay, that was proof that men can be bitches, too.  Why do I have to be a Republican just because I think for myself?  That’s not really a good representation for the Democrats.  Here’s another one who freaked out in labeling me.  Why does this idiot think I am “Eurocentric” because he disagrees with me?

Andre Kelton andre.k@comcast.net wrote:

I don't know which march you were at, but all those things you mentioned were encouraged by the various speakers. Like most Eurocentric Negroes, if it is not written down and numbered, you have a hard time seeing the agenda. Grow up!

The following kook knows I want him to stop emailing me, but he refuses to stop.  The funny thing is that he is responding to the “Strange Ideas” piece, where I admonish people for speaking when they are not qualified.  His disjointed verbiage is designed to malign my writing skills.  It’s easy to tell that he’s not qualified to do that when you read his hate:

From: LawtonBarry@aol.com

Hey Darryl,

Its  me again.  I know you ask me to stop e-mailing or (dialoging) with  you, but... 

First and foremost, you need to focus your writing.  In your last ramble, a short piece, you covered; begging, non-profit, corporate abuse, revisionist history, affirmative action, George Bush and relationships. You should focus, be less ambiguous and follow your own advice.

You need anger management and to learn how to write. Calling yourself a sydicated columnist is a travesty of the greatest extent.

Now, this bitch of a man maligned my writing skills, yet he emailed me again to provide suggestions for what I should write about.  If you think I’m a poor writer, why bother giving me suggestions?  Here, he is responding to “Angry Black Woman.”

From: LawtonBarry@aol.com

Darryl,

A little harsh and victimized.  While I agree too much overzealous criticism is heaped on black people, the fact still remains, that a disproportionate number of black women are raising children and supporting them without the help of the fathers. These are no small numbers, and can account for the anger these women harbor. As a responsible father, I share their anger. Yet, as Adilia Stevenson once said," I believe in the forgiveness of sins and the redemption of ingnorance."

What I would like to see you examine in the growing whiteness of our media. In most markets, especially Boston, if you have minority anchors, you will only find them on weekends. This has to be more than a coincidence. In addition, all the political talk shows have all white ment and a few white women. These are the people that subliminally change attitudes. Without progress in this area , we will always be define as a special interest group; pigeoned holed and relegated to black or minority forums.  We have seen over this election cycle the continuing ignoring of black political thought. We see it every night in living color or uncolor.

Next, this hater proves that hate clouds thinking.  She is responding to things that were simply not present in my column.  She is irritated at receiving my column, even though I didn’t send it to her personally.  Finally, she wanted me to know that she has a high IQ and went to a top law school, yet, her “top law” education failed to reveal that her communication has no expectation of privacy.  I am now sharing it with the world:

chwalker at chwalker@pacbell.net wrote:

As an independent, divorced, 30 something, black women - I was offended by the commentary. I don't have resentment or anger towards black men. I'm not bitter about... what ever you think black women are bitter about. I'm not hopeless or fearful. I don't believe I need a man to complete me or make me happy. I am a little irritated by this e-mail sent to me - but notice I didn't send YOU e-mails discussing my views on your mental stability without even knowing you based on faulty assumptions of your general characteristics.

Be careful when painting with a broad brush. It might be more productive to heal our community if we begin with a less judgmental tone. Instead of stereotyping we could try to see what role we play in poor communications with others. Poor communication is rarely all one persons fault. If black women are angry at you - take a look at what did to piss them off. The problem may not be as deep as you think.

A seasoned journalist ought to know better than to work with stereotypes and run it as news. I refuse to accept your nonsense that my anger is the cause of the destruction of the black community. We face enough discrimination from other groups. Now we have to deal with your venomous BS too.

As a journalist you have a responsibility not to push ignorance out there that harm black women for no obvious reason. If a black woman hurt you - go to a psychologist. To suggest that the only way a black woman can be happy is to have a black man marry her is about as ignorant a statement as I've ever heard.

This kind of backwards - women are to serve and not think kind of thinking is the problem. By the way - I have a law degree from a top law school and a 135 IQ.

And finally:

Lola Talabi (swtpea_21@hotmail.com), a rotten brained female claiming to be African and therefore, detached from the African American experience, emailed me to tell me that I had an obligation to take denigration from women (see “How Not to Date A Black Man”) and that my refusal was the primary problem with Black people in America.

 This self-hating ignoramus claimed that the behavior of “you people” was the reason why she and other Africans separate themselves from Blacks in America.

Here’s some of the vile crap she spewed:

 “The worldview of the average Black American don't go past his ghetto,” said the Black racist in standard uneducated English. “Please, this ain't my home and I just sit and watch your African American drama--that's all it is to me and most Africans--drama. No identity, no history, no ambition, just anger. Stupid, trapped, misguided, going nowhere anger. “F--- you AND your African American women. You ain't no threat or concern to anyone anyway.”

I returned this bitter crow’s evil and asked her not to contact me anymore. She posted my response on some obscure site for Nigerians in America, so in return, I included her comments in “The Hate That Hate Made.” Of course, since she is ignorant, she believes that my actions are libelous. If she so desires, I will meet the hater in court. Please understand that there is No expectation pf privacy when you send unsolicited email--especially if it is full of hatred.

If you do not wish to see yourself in the Hater’s Hall of Infamy, just don’t send me your ignorance.  If you disagree, fine, but don’t do it with evil and expect a good result from me.

Here's a hateful freak of nature, who claims to be a Black activist, but lost her cool and her mind when I refused to change my position on Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton (Dying Activists):

On 3/7/05 10:40 AM, Beverly Graham Dba Graham at llleon@sbcglobal.net wrote:

Darryl:

I look forward to the Black N LA newsletters to read your articles.  My name is Beverly J. Graham and I, too am a black activist.

I take exception to you comments concerning Mr. Sharpton and Mr. Jackson.  Truth be told although both men have shortcomings. As, we all do!  We are able to do the things we do because of their tireless work.  Also, both men spoke up for blacks when many blacks were simply happy to except jobs, goods, services, and caucasian spouses in exchange for silence.

Darryl, I'd ask you to revisit you feelings for Mr. Jackson and Mr. Sharpton.   It appears in this article that you have done to them what you criticized others for doing; villifying black leaders.

Thanks
Beverly

I gave her a simple and succinct response:

Darryl James <djames@theblackgendergap.com> wrote:

Hi Beverly;

I appreciate your comments and it is always good to run across another Black activist. However, if you are a true activist, you should know better than to ask me to revise my positions, which are well thought and carefully considered. You don't have to agree, but there really is no point in asking me to soften my position on the people you value.

If you think I have done to them what I accuse others of, you should re-read the article. I don't consider them leaders.

peace & respect,

Darryl James

<>Now, obviously, Beverly has been providing Al and Jesse with fellatio services, because she took it personally and freaked out on me:

Hello Darryl:

If you feel you do not want to change or re-visit your thoughts concerning Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton so be it!  However, Darryl you are guilty of doing to Jesse and Al Sharpton exactly what you are accusing other blacks of doing.  Publicly berating each others. 

Here's my point,  I disagree with your article.  Therefore, on my next opportunity to do public television or write an article for a major magazine I say I often read articles written by a black brother that refers to himself as a black activist but he's really just a hater.  He's sort of a black intellectual Hitler.  His name is Darryl .......  He's out of touch with Black America.  It's blacks like Darryl that keep the war(s) of the world going!

A novel idea.  Darryl don't ever change. In fact, you seem to be a man with many words. Maybe you can find some harsh words for me.  However, know this in the end we/I/you/them have only hurt each.

I respect your work.  Looking forward to next article.

Beverly

Why would she threaten to publicize her disagreement with me, while calling me names? But she  respects my work? Did she forget to take her medication? Of course I let her have it.

Darryl James <djames@theblackgendergap.com> wrote:

Beverly;

You are not a Black activist, you are a messy, ignorant fool.  You are angry because I didn't agree with you.  We don't even know each other.  You say a bunch of angry evil mess and think I'll dialogue with you?  Why did you even bother to email me?  I don't have ANY words for you and will now ignore any crap you spew this way.

The hate is in your dark, evil heart.